Cornerstone. the chief foundation on which something is constructed or developed. Jesus is the cornerstone. No, he is the CHIEF cornerstone (Eph 2:20). Without Christ, we would not be. Without Christ nothing would be. We would not have a basis for what we believe without Christ Jesus.
With this we are given the gospel, pure and simple. God sent His Son, Jesus Christ, into this world. He lived a perfect life so he could be the pure Lamb that was needed in order to be sacrificed. He was betrayed by His own people, beaten, nailed to a cross and left to die. This was the act of love he came here to do. We are to turn away from our sin and become pure and blameless. This is why Christ came. He knew we would always struggle with sin, that we would never be pure and blamesless without help. So he died for us, as our eternal sacrifice so that we are made pure and blameless. Do we sin? Yes. Is it like a switch when we decide to give Christ our life? No. Do we feel different? No. We are still us. I am me, the only difference is, my life now has meaning. I have a purpose in this life with Christ. Without Christ, I am nothing. Without Christ, you are nothing. Our life is now all about Jesus Christ. That is the gospel, pure and simple!
This whole idea of it being a switch, that we are just supposed to turn away from our sins and that is that is wrong. God knows that too. He wants us to try. The thing that gets me is when there are those who seem to believe this idea that it is a switch, that you will never sin again. It’s wrong. I know people who believe this and they themselves have sin in their life. They are living like the Pharisees. Point out the wrongs in everyone else when they still have the plank in their own eye.
"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,' when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.” Luke 6:41-42
I do agree we need to help our brothers and sisters out and when we see sin to point it out. But it does need to be done right. I know of people who are so quick to point out my wrongs and they do it in a way that says “I’M BETTER THAN YOU!” This is not the humble way we should do this. It is this mindset, this way of doing things that pushes others away. It breaks my heart to see how new believers struggle to feel accepted when someone is constantly telling them what to do. Do not tell anyone what to do that is a new believer. Let them know you are there to support and help them when they want it. This opens the door for them to come and ask you your advice. Believe me, they will ask someone for advice. It really works! Let’s not continue pushing our unsolicited advice, suggestions, or just plain beliefs on those around us. God is love. It is our love for each other and for Jesus Christ that others will know who we are and will start asking questions. This is the way to open the door to bring others to Christ. It all starts with love, with Jesus who is love.
I can only pray that people will see and claim the true gospel. Jesus Christ is the true gospel. He is the only way, the only truth and the only Light. When will others finally see and turn from whatever this other gospel they claim to be true is?
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Friday, December 4, 2009
Media
It seems as though recently I’ve begun hating the news and radio. The current topic this last week is Tiger Woods. It seems as though everyone has their opinion and most people think this is funny and that he is this horrible person. Fact of the matter is I just don’t care. Yes, he is a famous guy, but that does not mean he wants everything he does broadcast to the entire world. Did he screw up? YES. Does the entire world need to add an opinion? No. The guy made a horrible mistake and is now paying for that. Let him and his family deal with this privately, as they should. I know I don’t want all my mistakes broadcast for the world to see. How awful this must be for his children and wife. I pray they can all find peace in this and that things will work out.
I have seen this over and over again the last several months. Jon Gosselin’s mistakes were broadcast to the entire world. Then the media pinned them against each other and blew this way out of proportion. It is TV, nothing is as it seems, regardless if it’s reality TV or not. Jon made a mistake, then again, I do believe Kate did too. Not the same mistake but a mistake nonetheless. This whole victim thing they have portrayed her as is irritating.
The media has become something I hate. I don’t listen to much radio anymore so I don’t have to hear it. Our world has become a place that we feed on others. Someone makes a mistake in
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Something On My Heart
What a country we live in. A country that was founded on Christian principles. Great men who worshipped our Great God. This was once an amazing country. A place where people got along. It seems every year things get worse. We get further and further away from the values we once held. Where things that were once thought upon as wrong are now a part of who people are. The biblical values many of us hold are looked upon as wrong to the world. Men sleeping with men, women with women, murder, lying, gossip, adultery, cheating…etc. All of these are okay in the people’s eyes. Now, if we think any of this is wrong, we are shunned, called extremists. What happened to the United States of America?
Several cities in the Bible became corrupt after a time. This all happened because of the sin of the people. The first account of God doing something about the corrupt was in Genesis 6 when God decided he would flood the earth. He knew there was still a good man in the world, Noah. He had Noah build and ark so he could take his family, as well as two of each kind of animal so that after the flood they could repopulate the earth. This was how God first started over what he had created. After all this God decided never again would he flood the whole earth. To remind of us of this promise he gave us the rainbow. Genesis 9:13-16 says “I have set my rainbow in the clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds. I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life. Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on earth.” Where in this verse does it state the rainbow stands for gays? No where. The rainbow is a promise from God and this world has taken a beautiful thing and made it a symbol for sin.
Later on there is Sodom and Gomorrah. Genesis 18:20 states, “Then the Lord said, ‘The outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is so great and their sin so grievous that I will go down and see if what they have done is as bad as the outcry that has reached me. If not, I will know.” Now, why would God have to go see? Remember, this is the God of the universe? HE KNOWS!!! Because things were as bad as God knew they were, in chapter 19, the destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah for their sins. In Exodus we learn about Pharaoh. He is a wicked man whose heart is hardened. So ten plagues were brought upon him and his people. Then the Lord destroyed Pharoah and his men as they chase after Moses and the people of Egypt. There are dozens of times throughout the new and old testaments where God either destroyed a people or punished them because of their sins. In the New Testament God quit destroying cities because of sin. Instead he sent Jesus Christ to save us. He lived a life like any of us. His days were spent teaching others about the love of His Father. Bringing people to Him.
It seems that as time went on after Jesus went back to Heaven to be with His Father, things just went downhill. Wars were still fought for the wrong reasons. People fought with each other over petty things. America was founded. People based how they ran things on the bible and what they knew were right. As time went on we became tolerant. We became tolerant of other religions, of other people who destroy the name of God. Shame on us for not fighting for what is right. Shame on us for not standing up for our faith and instead cowering in a corner afraid people may hate us. I tell you the truth, we will be hated by the people of the world. God is very clear that we will not be liked because what we believe is truth. Shame on us for setting aside what we believe and voting for people who support the very things God despises. There is no justification for it. If you are not for God, you are against Him. If you support someone who is against God, you too are now against Him. I am sick of settling for things. I am sick of this country settling for things. It is time for us to fight. We have freedom in America. We won’t be persecuted to the extent others are in countries where even speaking the name Jesus Christ will get you killed.
My dream is to see the Christian church rise up. To get rid of those who fake loving our Lord and Savior, for us to become united under one cause. “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Matthew 28:19-20
Teaching others of Christ’s love for us is only part of what he asked. He wants us to teach them to obey everything, EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING that He commanded us. EVERYTHING! How awesome would it be for everyone who believes in Jesus Christ, has a personal relationship with him to come together to do this? What a powerful message that would be. How amazing would it be if we took back this country and God ruled once again? I can only pray that one day this will happen. One day. One day. God wins in the end. “When the thousand years are over, Satan will be released from his prison and will go out to deceive the nations in the four corners of the earth—Gog and Magog—to gather them for battle. In number they are like the sand on the seashore. They marched across the breadth of the earth and surrounded the camp of God's people, the city he loves. But fire came down from heaven and devoured them. And the devil, who deceived them, was thrown into the lake of burning sulfur, where the beast and the false prophet had been thrown. They will be tormented day and night for ever and ever.” Rev 20:7-40
“Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, as clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb down the middle of the great street of the city. On each side of the river stood the tree of life, bearing twelve crops of fruit, yielding its fruit every month. And the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations. No longer will there be any curse. The throne of God and of the Lamb will be in the city, and his servants will serve him. They will see his face, and his name will be on their foreheads. There will be no more night. They will not need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord God will give them light. And they will reign for ever and ever. The angel said to me, "These words are trustworthy and true. The Lord, the God of the spirits of the prophets, sent his angel to show his servants the things that must soon take place."
"Behold, I am coming soon! Blessed is he who keeps the words of the prophecy in this book."” Rev 22:1-7
Praise the God who saves us. Praise the One who defeats the evil one who has caused so much ruin in this world. Praise You God!
Several cities in the Bible became corrupt after a time. This all happened because of the sin of the people. The first account of God doing something about the corrupt was in Genesis 6 when God decided he would flood the earth. He knew there was still a good man in the world, Noah. He had Noah build and ark so he could take his family, as well as two of each kind of animal so that after the flood they could repopulate the earth. This was how God first started over what he had created. After all this God decided never again would he flood the whole earth. To remind of us of this promise he gave us the rainbow. Genesis 9:13-16 says “I have set my rainbow in the clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds. I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life. Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on earth.” Where in this verse does it state the rainbow stands for gays? No where. The rainbow is a promise from God and this world has taken a beautiful thing and made it a symbol for sin.
Later on there is Sodom and Gomorrah. Genesis 18:20 states, “Then the Lord said, ‘The outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is so great and their sin so grievous that I will go down and see if what they have done is as bad as the outcry that has reached me. If not, I will know.” Now, why would God have to go see? Remember, this is the God of the universe? HE KNOWS!!! Because things were as bad as God knew they were, in chapter 19, the destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah for their sins. In Exodus we learn about Pharaoh. He is a wicked man whose heart is hardened. So ten plagues were brought upon him and his people. Then the Lord destroyed Pharoah and his men as they chase after Moses and the people of Egypt. There are dozens of times throughout the new and old testaments where God either destroyed a people or punished them because of their sins. In the New Testament God quit destroying cities because of sin. Instead he sent Jesus Christ to save us. He lived a life like any of us. His days were spent teaching others about the love of His Father. Bringing people to Him.
It seems that as time went on after Jesus went back to Heaven to be with His Father, things just went downhill. Wars were still fought for the wrong reasons. People fought with each other over petty things. America was founded. People based how they ran things on the bible and what they knew were right. As time went on we became tolerant. We became tolerant of other religions, of other people who destroy the name of God. Shame on us for not fighting for what is right. Shame on us for not standing up for our faith and instead cowering in a corner afraid people may hate us. I tell you the truth, we will be hated by the people of the world. God is very clear that we will not be liked because what we believe is truth. Shame on us for setting aside what we believe and voting for people who support the very things God despises. There is no justification for it. If you are not for God, you are against Him. If you support someone who is against God, you too are now against Him. I am sick of settling for things. I am sick of this country settling for things. It is time for us to fight. We have freedom in America. We won’t be persecuted to the extent others are in countries where even speaking the name Jesus Christ will get you killed.
My dream is to see the Christian church rise up. To get rid of those who fake loving our Lord and Savior, for us to become united under one cause. “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Matthew 28:19-20
Teaching others of Christ’s love for us is only part of what he asked. He wants us to teach them to obey everything, EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING that He commanded us. EVERYTHING! How awesome would it be for everyone who believes in Jesus Christ, has a personal relationship with him to come together to do this? What a powerful message that would be. How amazing would it be if we took back this country and God ruled once again? I can only pray that one day this will happen. One day. One day. God wins in the end. “When the thousand years are over, Satan will be released from his prison and will go out to deceive the nations in the four corners of the earth—Gog and Magog—to gather them for battle. In number they are like the sand on the seashore. They marched across the breadth of the earth and surrounded the camp of God's people, the city he loves. But fire came down from heaven and devoured them. And the devil, who deceived them, was thrown into the lake of burning sulfur, where the beast and the false prophet had been thrown. They will be tormented day and night for ever and ever.” Rev 20:7-40
“Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, as clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb down the middle of the great street of the city. On each side of the river stood the tree of life, bearing twelve crops of fruit, yielding its fruit every month. And the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations. No longer will there be any curse. The throne of God and of the Lamb will be in the city, and his servants will serve him. They will see his face, and his name will be on their foreheads. There will be no more night. They will not need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord God will give them light. And they will reign for ever and ever. The angel said to me, "These words are trustworthy and true. The Lord, the God of the spirits of the prophets, sent his angel to show his servants the things that must soon take place."
"Behold, I am coming soon! Blessed is he who keeps the words of the prophecy in this book."” Rev 22:1-7
Praise the God who saves us. Praise the One who defeats the evil one who has caused so much ruin in this world. Praise You God!
Monday, August 3, 2009
Putting Things In Perspective
Lately it seems as if people I know/have known have passed away. It's been crazy but the last several months have put the circle of life into perspective. I have seen babies born, okay, not actually seen but know of babies being born. Then I see people getting married, starting the next chapter in their lives. Then, people I know have died. I knew a guy who had cancer, lung cancer, he fought and fought and went into remission. He survived something that should've taken his life and instead died from a blood clot. While this is sad, I also find it great how when God wants the person, he will stop at nothing. Why not take this person in their cancer fight? Why wait? It shows me the power of God. God called the person home. The circle of life is such an amazing gift of God, I praise Him for it.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Listening
Life seems to always be changing. There is nothing I can do about it either. I hate it! I do not understand it. I find it hard to trust God with life at times. I like to be in control. Obviously when God is in control, I don’t know what’s going to happen. Some of the hardest things I’ve had to do recently is trust God. Pray to him and ask him to show me His Will for me. People have been hurt because of what God has for me. They do not seem to understand that I did pray about my decisions and that I am confident I did what God wanted. I hate the friendship that was lost. I miss that. It was eight years. I pray one day that God will soften his heart and make him realize that I did what God wanted. How much easier it would’ve been at the time had I just ignored God and did what I wanted to I was in control. But also, how wrong that would have been.
I cannot thank God enough for where he has brought me. Although my heart still aches from time to time for friendships that have been destroyed, God has brought me a kind of peace about it all. For so long I questioned myself. How do I know it is God talking to me, how do I know it’s not just me being me? I think we all have that question. I think when we want something enough, we can trick ourselves into thinking it is God telling us that is what he wants. Although I do believe that sometimes it may be true, for the most part, it’s not. I definitely did not do what I wanted to do. I struggled with it days before I actually decided to follow God and I did it for several days after. It wasn’t until I poured my heart out to God that I felt peace.
God has an interesting way of doing things. I don’t always like it but what can I do? There are two options, listen to God or ignore Him. I cannot live with not listening to Him. All I can do is strive to be a godly woman. To listen to God and try to be someone that worships, that loves, that listens to Him and molds life after Him. May I be that person. I hope one day that someone will look at me, see something different in me and ask why, so that I may be able to tell them about this great Friend that I have.
Thank you God for always being there for me, for loving me and accepting me no matter how many times I stray from you. Thank you for being you and never changing in this always changing world.
I cannot thank God enough for where he has brought me. Although my heart still aches from time to time for friendships that have been destroyed, God has brought me a kind of peace about it all. For so long I questioned myself. How do I know it is God talking to me, how do I know it’s not just me being me? I think we all have that question. I think when we want something enough, we can trick ourselves into thinking it is God telling us that is what he wants. Although I do believe that sometimes it may be true, for the most part, it’s not. I definitely did not do what I wanted to do. I struggled with it days before I actually decided to follow God and I did it for several days after. It wasn’t until I poured my heart out to God that I felt peace.
God has an interesting way of doing things. I don’t always like it but what can I do? There are two options, listen to God or ignore Him. I cannot live with not listening to Him. All I can do is strive to be a godly woman. To listen to God and try to be someone that worships, that loves, that listens to Him and molds life after Him. May I be that person. I hope one day that someone will look at me, see something different in me and ask why, so that I may be able to tell them about this great Friend that I have.
Thank you God for always being there for me, for loving me and accepting me no matter how many times I stray from you. Thank you for being you and never changing in this always changing world.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
August 13th and 14th, 2008
I feel like I don’t get time to blog, so I decided that today, while I am working on my laptop and waiting on it to format, I will blog. I guess it’s been over a month since I last blogged. It’s amazing to me how fast time has been flying this year, well, the last six months. Six months ago last Friday (the 13th), was my ATV accident. I ended up in the ER, having to go to Gunnison instead while still in a lot of pain, going to the hospital in Gunnison, only to be told I had to go up the street to the orthopedic surgeon’s office. Then I had to wait a while, still in pain, not having any of my other cuts and scrapes doctored, still covered in dirt and stuff from the mountain. It honestly sucked. Then the doc comes in and I finally get them to doctor me up. They take me to a room in the back and set my foot. I had to fight with them to give me something to numb my foot so I wouldn’t feel the pain too much. Then they put my foot in a splint because they couldn’t do surgery that day. My friend may have needed immediate surgery and so my doc wanted to keep his schedule clear in case he needed to be in that surgery. So my dad got a hotel across the street and I went there. I had nothing! I had my little bag I had on the ATV ride, I had my MP3 player, thank God! I had sunglasses which I didn’t need. Praise God I had my glasses because my contacts began getting very dry. It seems when I cry at all my contacts go dry. My parents left me in the hotel room while they drove the hour back to Lake City to grab all our stuff. They had to pack all our stuff and all Robert’s stuff. Then they drove both vehicles back to Gunnison. All the while I’m going crazy. I can’t do anything. I’m in so much pain. I was so cold but couldn’t bear to have the blankets from the bed on my foot. The receptionist was kind enough to bring me a blanket that I could just put wherever. I laid down and just watched TV. I couldn’t eat or drink anything. After my parents got back, I did have a little bit of water and took the last pain pill before the surgery.
That was the longest night of my life. I couldn’t sleep. Not only was I in pain, my parents snore. AHH!!! So if I would doze off, I’d wake up to snoring. I had my MP3 player on with headphones so as to drown out the noise, but I was so restless I think I kept pulling the ear buds out. I got up early that next morning and watched my parents eat what looked like a yummy breakfast. I hobbled around. We packed up and my dad brought a wheel chair for me from the surgery place which was directly across the street. I went in, put on the awful gown, and just waited. I finally started getting tired. They put an IV in my for fluids and the anesthesiologist came in and numbed my foot. They turned me back over and they rolled me back to surgery. I was supposed to be awake for the surgery, but I don’t remember, probably a good thing. The last thing I remember saying was I can still feel my foot, freaking out because they were fixing to start the surgery and I didn’t want to feel it. I woke up in recovery, once I was actually awake, they took the IV out and let me get dressed. Then I hobbled to the car in my humungous splint they put on me. (It wasn’t a cast…weird) this thing was HUGE!
We went to see Robert before we left I think. He cried and cried. He still feels bad about what happened, but that’s why they call it an accident. I know he wouldn’t have purposely hurt my like that. He does know that I won’t ride an ATV with him for a long while. We drove home, dad drove Robert’s truck and mom drove me back in the Explorer. Robert stayed in Gunnison because he required extensive surgery.
The recovery process to me was irritating. I was in bed all day unless I went downstairs to eat. Stairs were fun. One step at a time. One day, I forgot about the stairs and swung forward on the crutches. I felt like Elmer Fudd chasing bugs, he’d keep going and look down only to see nothing, there’d be a gulp and then the whistle noise of him falling to the ground thousands of feet down. I skipped an entire flight of stairs and landed on my humungous splint. I was in severe pain at this point. Mom heard me and came to me, dad was outside. She got him and he carried me to the couch. Once the pounding stopped, I realized the splint had turned slightly. We went to the ER to get it looked at, to make sure I didn’t do any more damage. Thank God, I didn’t. That big splint really protected my foot. They did cut it off though and that felt good. They put a much smaller one on for a day. I could actually move more freely. The next day I got my boot on. The air cast one.
I was so grateful to get back to work. I couldn’t do much, but I wasn’t in bed all the time. I actually had the chance to get out of the house. I soon started doing too much, but it was worth it. I’d go to church with my parents by my side. I went to YAM and other activities I had going on. Robert came back that weekend we got back. Dad drove down and brought him back. He stayed a little while. Then dad arranged a flight for him and Robert arranged for some friends of ours and his to pick him up and he stayed with them for a little while before he went home.
Robert really stepped up during this time. I’m sure it was mostly guilt, but either way, he saved me thousands and thousands of dollars. I chose to do everything out of network because I had already met my surgery team. If I wanted to be in network, I would’ve had to go to the hospital, stay an extra day which we couldn’t afford, and have a completely different surgery team. Robert chose to pay for all this out of his own pocket. He didn’t have liability insurance where we were and so I was not covered in the accident at all by him. He is continuing to pay to this day for bills still coming in from the accident. I am very grateful to him for doing that. I know he can’t afford it, and the fact that he’d step up like that is great.
I am finally out of the boot, I think it’s been a few months or so. It’s great. I can move around like I want for the most part. My ankle is still real weak so on days I do a lot of walking, I use a brace. I decided to help me get stronger and slightly more fit, to join a gym. One day I had the guts to actually try running. I did it! I can now run a half mile. Not all at once unfortunately since I can’t control my breathing (never figured that out…ideas anyone?), and my ankle starts throbbing after a little while of running. The first day I did the half mile, I could barely walk after, my ankle kept giving out on me. It was a good day though. I’m glad I can run. It is a huge accomplishment for me. I still have the bruising in my foot which I’d like to go away because I hate the way it looks. Makes it look like I have a dirty foot. I still have numbness going up my leg which the doc things is from the bruising. Thankfully it’s nothing that really affects me, I just get annoyed when I touch a certain part of my lower leg to scratch it and all of a sudden it feels numb.
The last six months have truly flown by for me. I am still healing. There are still things I’m afraid to do and things I can’t do. I have a lot more healing to do and all I can do is be patient and wait for that healing to finish. God has helped me through all of this. I was mad for a little while, but I can see that God’s hand was in it all. He really protected me. I should be dead right now, but I am alive. Thank you God for allowing me more time on this earth.
Okay, so I’m sure you wanted to read me reliving what happened august 13th and 14th, sorry. Just wanted to get it out there, it’s therapeutic I think.
That was the longest night of my life. I couldn’t sleep. Not only was I in pain, my parents snore. AHH!!! So if I would doze off, I’d wake up to snoring. I had my MP3 player on with headphones so as to drown out the noise, but I was so restless I think I kept pulling the ear buds out. I got up early that next morning and watched my parents eat what looked like a yummy breakfast. I hobbled around. We packed up and my dad brought a wheel chair for me from the surgery place which was directly across the street. I went in, put on the awful gown, and just waited. I finally started getting tired. They put an IV in my for fluids and the anesthesiologist came in and numbed my foot. They turned me back over and they rolled me back to surgery. I was supposed to be awake for the surgery, but I don’t remember, probably a good thing. The last thing I remember saying was I can still feel my foot, freaking out because they were fixing to start the surgery and I didn’t want to feel it. I woke up in recovery, once I was actually awake, they took the IV out and let me get dressed. Then I hobbled to the car in my humungous splint they put on me. (It wasn’t a cast…weird) this thing was HUGE!
We went to see Robert before we left I think. He cried and cried. He still feels bad about what happened, but that’s why they call it an accident. I know he wouldn’t have purposely hurt my like that. He does know that I won’t ride an ATV with him for a long while. We drove home, dad drove Robert’s truck and mom drove me back in the Explorer. Robert stayed in Gunnison because he required extensive surgery.
The recovery process to me was irritating. I was in bed all day unless I went downstairs to eat. Stairs were fun. One step at a time. One day, I forgot about the stairs and swung forward on the crutches. I felt like Elmer Fudd chasing bugs, he’d keep going and look down only to see nothing, there’d be a gulp and then the whistle noise of him falling to the ground thousands of feet down. I skipped an entire flight of stairs and landed on my humungous splint. I was in severe pain at this point. Mom heard me and came to me, dad was outside. She got him and he carried me to the couch. Once the pounding stopped, I realized the splint had turned slightly. We went to the ER to get it looked at, to make sure I didn’t do any more damage. Thank God, I didn’t. That big splint really protected my foot. They did cut it off though and that felt good. They put a much smaller one on for a day. I could actually move more freely. The next day I got my boot on. The air cast one.
I was so grateful to get back to work. I couldn’t do much, but I wasn’t in bed all the time. I actually had the chance to get out of the house. I soon started doing too much, but it was worth it. I’d go to church with my parents by my side. I went to YAM and other activities I had going on. Robert came back that weekend we got back. Dad drove down and brought him back. He stayed a little while. Then dad arranged a flight for him and Robert arranged for some friends of ours and his to pick him up and he stayed with them for a little while before he went home.
Robert really stepped up during this time. I’m sure it was mostly guilt, but either way, he saved me thousands and thousands of dollars. I chose to do everything out of network because I had already met my surgery team. If I wanted to be in network, I would’ve had to go to the hospital, stay an extra day which we couldn’t afford, and have a completely different surgery team. Robert chose to pay for all this out of his own pocket. He didn’t have liability insurance where we were and so I was not covered in the accident at all by him. He is continuing to pay to this day for bills still coming in from the accident. I am very grateful to him for doing that. I know he can’t afford it, and the fact that he’d step up like that is great.
I am finally out of the boot, I think it’s been a few months or so. It’s great. I can move around like I want for the most part. My ankle is still real weak so on days I do a lot of walking, I use a brace. I decided to help me get stronger and slightly more fit, to join a gym. One day I had the guts to actually try running. I did it! I can now run a half mile. Not all at once unfortunately since I can’t control my breathing (never figured that out…ideas anyone?), and my ankle starts throbbing after a little while of running. The first day I did the half mile, I could barely walk after, my ankle kept giving out on me. It was a good day though. I’m glad I can run. It is a huge accomplishment for me. I still have the bruising in my foot which I’d like to go away because I hate the way it looks. Makes it look like I have a dirty foot. I still have numbness going up my leg which the doc things is from the bruising. Thankfully it’s nothing that really affects me, I just get annoyed when I touch a certain part of my lower leg to scratch it and all of a sudden it feels numb.
The last six months have truly flown by for me. I am still healing. There are still things I’m afraid to do and things I can’t do. I have a lot more healing to do and all I can do is be patient and wait for that healing to finish. God has helped me through all of this. I was mad for a little while, but I can see that God’s hand was in it all. He really protected me. I should be dead right now, but I am alive. Thank you God for allowing me more time on this earth.
Okay, so I’m sure you wanted to read me reliving what happened august 13th and 14th, sorry. Just wanted to get it out there, it’s therapeutic I think.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Reflections
It is amazing as I reflect back on the last 22 years of my life. One things comes to mind, what happened to the time? I feel like yesterday I was still in Texas, I had my friends, my best friends, we’d hang out and pretend to be archaeologists and dig in the parking lot of a private school down the road. We’d often find what our imaginations thought were dinosaur bones. Sometimes I miss being a kid. It’s weird growing up. As children, we rely on our parents for everything. For food, shelter, money…etc. Parents are a child’s world. I have so many fun memories as a kid. I also have the awful ones I with I could forget. I have been through things no child should ever have to go through. Along with those memories came secrets kept for years. I came to the Lord at a young age thanks to the teachings of friends and family.
At the age of 6 I came to know Jesus as my Lord and Savior. At that young age though I still did not know what that meant. I don’t remember where I was when I came to Christ. I always thought I did it because of my brother. According to my parents, my grandma had taken me to her room and sat me down and talked to me for a while. That is when I came to know Christ. I wish so badly I could remember that. That was the year my grandma died.
With getting older has come realizations about myself and the people around me. With getting older the yearning to remember things I cannot from my childhood gets stronger. They say with great power comes great responsibility. I also believe that is true with age. The older I get, the more responsibility I have. I have my own things. Most of the items I have are mine. I have paid for them with my money. I did not have to rely on my parents to buy me these things. I have a job. It is an amazing job and I am so blessed to only have had this job. I have been with Crawford Broadcasting since I was in high school. This year will mark seven years. Seven years with the same company and I am only 22 (going on 23 soon). That is a major accomplishment. Not only have I been with the company seven years, but I am also now management. I am Chief Engineer. I figured I’d eventually get to chief engineer, but not till I was 40 or something.
With getting older has come more knowledge of who my Lord and Savior is. With age has come forgiveness, of myself and of others. With age has come a broken heart. With age has come the loss of old friendships but also the formation of new friendships.
I praise God for His wonderful work in my life. In 22 years he has given me thousands of chances. No matter how many times I’ve screwed up, He is there waiting on me. He has brought me to a place of forgiveness for those who have deeply hurt me. He has healed me from most of those hurts. He continues to heal me of other hurts. He has blessed me with amazing friends. With people that help to encourage me, to comfort me and to just call me on my crap. My God is an amazing God. I have no doubt I am doing what He wants me to be doing. I have no doubt I am here because He has called me here.
The last 22 years have been amazing. I have no regrets. With everything I have done, good or bad, I have learned and I know without those things, I would not be who I am today. I hope to have many many more amazing years here on this earth. I can only try to do what God has called me to do. I can only try to be who He has called me to be. I will love my Savior with all my heart. I will live for Him only and rely on Him in every aspect of my life. I have no doubt I will fail at that often, but I will try. I love my Father and He loves me.
Thank you Lord for the amazing 22 years you have given me.
At the age of 6 I came to know Jesus as my Lord and Savior. At that young age though I still did not know what that meant. I don’t remember where I was when I came to Christ. I always thought I did it because of my brother. According to my parents, my grandma had taken me to her room and sat me down and talked to me for a while. That is when I came to know Christ. I wish so badly I could remember that. That was the year my grandma died.
With getting older has come realizations about myself and the people around me. With getting older the yearning to remember things I cannot from my childhood gets stronger. They say with great power comes great responsibility. I also believe that is true with age. The older I get, the more responsibility I have. I have my own things. Most of the items I have are mine. I have paid for them with my money. I did not have to rely on my parents to buy me these things. I have a job. It is an amazing job and I am so blessed to only have had this job. I have been with Crawford Broadcasting since I was in high school. This year will mark seven years. Seven years with the same company and I am only 22 (going on 23 soon). That is a major accomplishment. Not only have I been with the company seven years, but I am also now management. I am Chief Engineer. I figured I’d eventually get to chief engineer, but not till I was 40 or something.
With getting older has come more knowledge of who my Lord and Savior is. With age has come forgiveness, of myself and of others. With age has come a broken heart. With age has come the loss of old friendships but also the formation of new friendships.
I praise God for His wonderful work in my life. In 22 years he has given me thousands of chances. No matter how many times I’ve screwed up, He is there waiting on me. He has brought me to a place of forgiveness for those who have deeply hurt me. He has healed me from most of those hurts. He continues to heal me of other hurts. He has blessed me with amazing friends. With people that help to encourage me, to comfort me and to just call me on my crap. My God is an amazing God. I have no doubt I am doing what He wants me to be doing. I have no doubt I am here because He has called me here.
The last 22 years have been amazing. I have no regrets. With everything I have done, good or bad, I have learned and I know without those things, I would not be who I am today. I hope to have many many more amazing years here on this earth. I can only try to do what God has called me to do. I can only try to be who He has called me to be. I will love my Savior with all my heart. I will live for Him only and rely on Him in every aspect of my life. I have no doubt I will fail at that often, but I will try. I love my Father and He loves me.
Thank you Lord for the amazing 22 years you have given me.
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